MY LIST OF 20

TWENTY THINGS I'D LIKE TO TRY

BEFORE IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DIE

ATTN: TO WHOM THIS MAY CONCERN,

{I'M NOT DYING & I'M NOT SUICIDAL. THIS IS SIMPLY A LIST OF THINGS I'D LIKE TO DO

BEFORE MY TIME ON EARTH IS THROUGH--THAT IS ALL}

1. RIDE ON AN AIRPLANE. ( I HAVE A PHOBIA )

2. SPEAK IN PERSON TO A MASSIVE AUDIENCE. ( ANOTHER PHOBIA )

3. LEARN HOW TO DANCE "AGAIN". ( USED TO DANCE AS A TEENAGER BUT LOST MY RHYTHMN SOMEHOW....ACTUALLY, I'M JUST TOO SHY. ) *BLUSHING NOW*

4. LOSE ENOUGH WEIGHT TO GET INTO MY OLD STARCHED, BEEN HANGIN' UP IN THE CLOSET NOW FOR ABOUT 25 YEARS, [SHOULD I BE WHISPERING?] OH, WHAT THE HELL......JORDACHE JEANS ( FROM HIGHSCHOOL )

5. TEST DRIVE A BENTLEY (BEIGE - OR- TAN COLOR ) + HAVE SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE OF ME PERPETRATIN' IN IT. ( SINCE WE ALL KNOW I CAN'T AFFORD ONE ) BUT I CAN DREAM CAN'T I??? YEA BABY!!!!!

6. GO ON AT LEAST 1 CRUISE. ( DESTINATION PENDING ) I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT I'VE BEEN ON A CRUISE....

7. WIN A GIGANTIC LOTTERY - OR - A MEGA JACKPOT AT THE CASINO. ( SO I CAN GO SPEND-THRIFT CRAZY AND BUY ANYTHING I WANT!!! ) IT'S A WOMAN THANG, SORRY GUYS....

8. MAKE A TELEVISION APPEARANCE/CAMEO. ( NO, NOT ON AMERICA'S MOST WANTED - OR - COPS. ) GIMME A BREAK ALREADY, WILL YA????

9. LEARN TO PLAY THE DRUMS. ( MY FATHER ATTEMPTED TO TEACH ME LONG AGO BUT I WAS SO DOGGONE STUBBORN ) KIDS! UGHHHHHH.....

10. QUIT SMOKING ( BEFORE I DO IRRETRIEVABLE DAMAGE TO MY LUNGS AND/OR GET HEART DISEASE, EMPHYSEMA - OR - BOTH ) OF COURSE KNOWING ME, I'D BE JUST LIKE MY MOM AND KEEP RIGHT ON SMOKING IN BETWEEN THE USE OF MY OXYGEN MASK!! DAMN!! LIKE MOTHER - LIKE DAUGHTER.....

11. STOP TRYING TO DO TOO MANY THINGS AT ONCE ( MULTI-TASKING NIGHTMARES ) FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT TO THE END.

12. RUN - OR - WALK IN A MARATHON.

13. READ THE BIBLE IN ITS' ENTIRETY.

14. UNDERSTAND IT ( WHETHER IT BE MY OWN INTERPRETATION OR THAT OF SOMEONE ELSE )

15. SING WITH A BAND - OR - SIT IN ON A JAM SESSION PLAYING MY FLUTE.

16. FIND THE " FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH " - OR - A DAMN GOOD FACIAL PRODUCT THAT SLOWS DOWN THE AGING PROCESS.

17. SEE THESE MOVIES:

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST

THE PASSION OF CHRIST

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

THE DA VINCI CODE

STAR WARS FILMS ( ALL 6 OF THEM SO FAR )

OH YEA, AND THAT ONE RON JEREMY FILM CALLED FAMILY AFFAIR (SO I'VE WATCHED A FEW PORNOS......SOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT????? **ROLLING HER EYES **

WHATEVERRRRRR!!!!!!!

18. GET UP ENOUGH NERVE TO TELL THIS CERTAIN CUSTOMER, WHO COMES INTO MY STORE, THAT HE'S GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES I'VE EVER SEEN!! ( I'M KIDDING. I'D NEVER DO A THING LIKE THAT BUT HE DOES HAVE THE DEEPEST OCEAN BLUE EYES......I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM.) **WINK - WINK **

19. MEET INTERESTING PEOPLE WHO CAN HOLD INTELLIGENT CONVERSATIONS WITHOUT PERPETRATING. ( I MEAN GENUINE PEOPLE WHO ARE HONEST, DOWN TO EARTH, FRIENDLY, RESPECTFUL AND ALSO WHO SEE OTHERS AS EQUALS. NON-JUDGEMENTAL, AND NOT SELF-CENTERED. LIARS AND BRAGGERS ARE NOT WELCOME!!! )

20. HAVE - OR - ARRANGE A BLOGGER'S INTERNATIONAL MEETING FOR FELLOW BLOGGERS & READERS ALIKE TO HAVE A " MEET -N - GREET TOGETHER. ( I THINK THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!)

OH MY! I ALMOST FORGOT THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING!!

21. I WANT TO RETIRE ( OF COURSE WITH MY LUCK, I'LL BE WORKING PAST RETIREMENT AGE--WHATEVER THAT MAY BE BY THEN-- WITH ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE & ONE ON A BANANA PEEL )

SO I GUESS THAT MAKES IT THE LIST OF 21 THINGS FOR ME TO TRY BEFORE I KICK THE BUCKET. BUT THEN AGAIN, BEING THAT I'M ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SURE I'LL NEVER DO #18 IT'S TECHNICALLY STILL A LIST OF 20.