Updates and future commitments

I have some news regarding my smoking habit. Normally i would buy 2-3 cartons of cigarettes every week. Lucky for me, the discount smoke shop usually runs a month long sale on my brand quite frequently. I also get coupons in the mail. Since my last post on June 12th, I've bought one carton. That's eleven days on one carton of cigarettes! A HUGE accomplishment for me. Of course, i have to buy a carton tomorrow. I can't just quit cold turkey. Like i said: ONE STEP AT A TIME... I think i'll be okay though. I have to be. I have many projects going on right now and i have to focus on each one separately and carefully. I seem to have recaptured my motivation once again so, i need to remain on track.

Tommorrow, when i leave work, i'll come home and change clothes, and make my grocery list. I know exactly what i need to buy too. I've got to get some good, healthy food in this house and stop eating out at fastfood restaurants and going out for dinner. That's one way to save some money. When i get home from my grocery trip, I need to gather up all of the "BAD FOOD"(fattening foods) and give it away. My sister will love me for that. She loves free food. I will be eating three meals a day, including a snack after lunch and dinner, if i so desire.

I will get back into my walking routine. Actually, i wanted to walk today but it was so friggin' hot and humid. The air quality was orange. Not a good day to be outside. Monday,(and i know this sounds familiar) i will start going back to the gym. Everyone says they'll start a diet plan or "Lifestyle change" as i like to call it, on a Monday. I am totally serious about this. I'm not just saying it. I mean it. I have a membership and it's high time that i start using it again. The only difference is that this time, i'm going to try to get help from a personal trainer. I'll have to look into the cost factor but, if i can afford it i'm going for it. I need to be pushed to the limit. Like i said, i have the motivation and determination. I just need a little giddy up. Someone to put some fire up under my, well u know what i mean....

I'm going to have to change my sleeping habits. For instance; tonight i'm up late because i had a nap at 4:30 this afternoon. I slept sound until 8:00 this evening. I guess you can say that i'm very well rested. Of course now i'm wide awake. I'll just have to work on it....I'm sure that once i get into a daily routine of eating more healthy foods and working out along with my normal work day and evening, i'll be pretty well spent and go to bed at a decent hour. I realize that change is never easy but i know that once i get started, it'll all fall into place. And right now, i feel pretty good about it. I can only try to do my best, and i will. I know i want it bad enough so, we'll see how bad bad is, right? Anyway, wish me luck. To be continued........

An Announcement...

Hey all! I've got some pics posted on my other blog: The "G" Spot Pics. I haven't decided whether i want to have one site for pics only, or just one site with everything. Guess it doesn't matter too much. I'm having fun with this, that's all that matters. LOL No work today. WHOO- HOO!! And in just 2 more weeks.....V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N !!!! I'm sure everyone's tired of hearing me say this, but I can't help it!

I'm finally getting a new hairstyle. Yea, the twists were gettin' old. I'm going with the long, wavy look now. Just something to do......

It seems like we're gonna have a beautiful day, weather wise so, I'm gonna get out into it! Happy Sunday all!!

*****************Captured*****************

A bird in a gilded cage peers anxiously

into the freedom of the unknown outside world.

Wanting ever so desperately to spread its' wings and

soar into the open atmosphere of life.

Freefalling only to catch itself while

inhaling the fumes of happiness and joyful spirit.

How beautiful it would be to let the bird roam free

And glide in the sky in imperfect form.

Dancing, twirling, loop "de" loops.

Hmmmmmmm.

This is why the caged bird sings.....

A song of Hope.....

Anticipation.....

Longing.

.....And also why the caged bird weeps.....

The fear, desperation, and conclusion

that the most important thing

seems to be missing.....

"THE GOLDEN KEY"

---by Me, Myself, & I

The Beginning of a New Beginning....

This is the deal.....I NEED A VACATION!!!! And not a moment too soon. It just so happens, i have a vacation coming up soon. Man, i can't wait! Not that i'm going anywhere but, just knowing that i'll have some time off from work is music to my ears. Perhaps i can use this time to get things in order, and get back on track. If nothing else, the one thing i do plan on doing is this: pampering myself. I'm going to take care of me for a change.

And that includes getting back into my routine of going to the gym!!

You'd be amazed at how much a good workout leaves you feeling afterward. The hard part is getting back into going regularly, but once i start my routine, it comes naturally. I so miss that feeling....It's gonna be a challenge to fit it into my schedule, but, i've got to so i will. I'm still smoking about the same as before,(2 &1/2-3 packs a day) this will be tapering off some with working out.

I do however have something in the mix on the smoking tip. Stay tuned, i'll let you know after it materializes..........that's all i'm saying.

I've got some good news, my truck is finally paid for!! I got my title in the mail a few weeks ago! WHOO-HOO!!! Andddddddddddddd.........i've managed to pay off alot of my debts. Look out, the girl's on a roll. I'm feeling pretty good at the present time. I really needed some breathing space too.

As for my loyal creditors.....I bid thee farewell....FOREVER!!

Wow, that really felt good, i must say. Now all i have to do is start living. No more worrying all the time. Maybe even start going back to Bull Shoals Lake in September. I used to go every year in September for 2 weeks. Hopefully, i'll get to do that this year.

Well, the clock says 5:30am, which means i've got to get ready for work. Yes, i still have to continue working, but life is good now, so it's okay....If you all only knew how bad it really was. As for my friends still struggling with those wonderful creditors.....

I leave you this:

Never give up. Keep on doing whatever you've got to do to stay afloat.

Legally, that is....

And most importantly, remember this:

THEY CAN'T EAT YOU!!

Well, off i go on my merry little way. I hope everyone has a productive day today. Take care all!!

Right or Wrong......It's your choice

It's kinda funny, really....how you go through life, knowing and learning what is right, and what is wrong. Life is full of choices. You either decide to do the right thing, whether it be something for you or someone else.....Or, you make a poor judgement and suffer the consequences. Right or wrong, It will be a learning experience for all involved. I've been on this earth for 39 years. Granted, I can't include the first 5 but, for 34 years I've made many concious decisions in my life. And they all haven't been good ones. We all have our shortcomings....there was only one perfect being in the world, and they crucified Him.....

And why, you ask, am I babbling on in this way about this particular subject? Well, It's what's on my mind at the present time. I guess you could say that I'm at a crossroads in my life.



I'm either going to do the right thing; or screw up completely and really regret it.

........And It's always the same with me:

I start out with the best of intentions. I step up to the plate, hit the ball and run. Whether or not It's a base hit, line drive, homerun, or whatever....I always seem to lose track or get lost somewhere between the bases and homeplate.

Go figure.

Perhaps if I start out by setting some small goals, keeping it logical or within reason. I know I can do this. I've done it before. It's like riding a bike. You fall off and get back on until you finally balance. And when i start to lose sight of things....well, really, I shouldn't even entertain that idea. I should remain focused.

Concentration is the key.

I am so ready to better my life, my health, my self esteem. I'm feeling that I need to make my mark{in my life} 'Cause I'm not getting any younger.....I can honestly say that I am really dreading my 40th birthday. I really am. And before anyone starts telling me how wonderful my life is going to be at that age, please allow me to say this:

I realize I can't stay young forever.

I also know that turning 40 is not the end of the world

And deep down inside, in my heart of hearts,

I know that I don't look that bad for my age.

I just feel sooooooooooo old!!

YUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Mentally, I feel like a 23 or 25 year old. I do keep a youthful mind. Which is very theraputic for me. I do however need to work on the physical aspect. I mean, don't get me wrong.....I don't look all that bad but, there's always room for improvement. Which I am in the process of working on.

I'm a joker, I'm a smoker.........

That's right, I am a smoker; of cigarettes of course....(I know what you were thinking I was gonna say) and truth be known, I smoke wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much. I really need to cut down. It's so hard though. But, let's face it. How long do you think I'll be living in good health if I keep on smoking 3 packs a day? Hmmmmmmmmmmm, we all know the answer to that one......

Well, my eyes are telling me that It's time to hit the sack. I can barely keep them open. Yes, I'm pretty tired. Until nextime, See y'all later.

Tech 101 Continued..............

Well, I'm back. I almost didn't make it back, but miraculously I have returned. I'm sure you're all wondering what the heck I'm talking about, so...let me explain.

I got home from work, changed into some comfortable clothes, and put my dogs outside; as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary, but when I turned my computer on: EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!! You guessed it!!

THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!!!

I totally freaked out! I hate it when that happens..... Granted, it has only happened to me one other time since I've had my computer but, It is so frustrating to me. I remember the first time it happened to me. I was almost in tears.... I had to call tech support. ( I'm sure you all know how wonderful that call is)

4 DAYS LATER.............

Yes, that's right, I said it!! That's how long it took for me to get my pc working again. I felt so distraught and helpless, 'cause i didn't know what to do.

This time, I fixed it all by myself. Well, cross your fingers, but everything seems to be working just fine. Running smooth and perfect. Yippee!!

I had to go into what is called "Safe Mode" From there, I was able to do a System Restore and restore my computer to a previous state. It seems to have worked being that I'm here posting on my blog. I have a feeling that I know what caused it too. I downloaded something new and I shouldn't have. I'll never do that again.....

So, you see, as I stated yesterday: " I always learn something new everytime I log on. I'm sure that this is child's play to all of you computer saavy folks living on Intellectual Internet Avenue, but to a new kid on the block, It's a really big deal!! I'm kinda proud of myself, really.....

Well, enough tooting my own horn. I'm not full of myself, really, I'm not. I'm just happy that i could do something on my own without having to run for help. It's an accomplishment for me. One of many I will have with practice, I'm sure.

I was supposed to do yard work yesterday, but I was so mentally and physically drained from work, that I just relaxed and went to bed shortly thereafter. Right now, it's too hot outside for mowing the lawn, so I think I'll wait 'till the sun goes down. Perhaps .....Of course, I probably won't feel like it then. lol

That's about all I've got today. (for now) I'm off!! ......in search of more knowledge. Take care all!

Tech talk 101....Or, things associated with it......

What's up everybody? I hope everyone is having an eventful day today. My day , at the meatshop was fairly decent. Now that my work day is over, I'm relaxing , in front of the computer .(of course) I think I have the makings of becoming a real " computer geek." ha-ha Not that there's anything wrong with that.....I enjoy my pc immensely! I do however; need to crack down and hone my skills on here.

Call me crazy, but I've finally realized that there's no way to learn about EVERYTHING concerning technical aspects of computers and internet jargin and usage. That would be like, totally impossible being that there are no limits to technological change and the internet is endless......BUTTTTTTTTTTTT...... I can try to further my knowledge and skills in different fields of study.

I've noticed that many people I associate with, don't seem to be too comfortable when it comes to discussing anything concerning the internet....Or computers, for that matter. It's almost as if they are embarrassed in some way. Maybe it's just me and my goofy way of thinking, but it does seem as though most people are very apprehensive about it. I am not one of those people.

I embrace the knowledge. I guess it's because I wanted a computer for so many years. I can remember, 2 years ago, I didn't even know what the internet was....much less how to even turn the power on for the pc to work....lol I've come a long way since then. I normally learn something new each day i log on. And no, I'm not ashamed to say that i do normally log on at least once a day.......Dammit, why should i be ashamed. I'm trying to learn, right?

Most people tend to stereo-type a person as being LONELY when they spend alot of time online. I don't consider myself a lonely person. I choose to spend some of my free time online. But anyway, what do I care about what other people think????

As far as the free online courses go,(I made reference to taking some classes in a previous post) I've found that there are many pre-requesites. I need to find something that I'm already familiar with and go from there...... I'll manage though, I always do.

There is one thing that I would enjoy more. I notice that people are reading my posts, which is GREAT! I just wish i would get more feedback/comments. Or, let me know what you would like to read about. I'm taking any suggestions; within reason......

Well, I'm thinking about mowing the lawn. I'm stalling, really. hee-hee There's still some daylight left. We'll see...... Have a good one all, Toodlessssssssssss!!

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