Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Top Ten Reminders That You're Getting Older.....

10. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH - You're not as quick as you used to be so stop trying to be Speedy Gonzales. Slow down. You'll still make it to the finish line, just a little later that's all....

9. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY - When you feel an ache acknowledge it. This isn't Jenny Craig's no pain no gain program. This is your friend Arthur talking to you. Don't ignore him 'cause if you know Arthur, he doesn't play around. Also known as Arthritis and you don't want him as an enemy. Believe me when I tell ya....

8. DRESS TO IMPRESS, NOT TO DEPRESS - You're not a teenager or 20 or 30 something anymore so don't dress like it. Be classy not trashy. There's nothing worse than squeezing into an outfit that's 2 sizes too small for you and revealing, thinking you look good only to see others perceiving you as outrageously funny. That's depressing........

7. MAKEUP ( REMEMBER LESS IS MORE ) - Natural looking is in. The character Mimi from The Drew Carey Show is out! You're not auditioning for the circus. Actually, this comment is mainly directed to the women well over 60. You know the ones. Eyebrows penciled in like Corky the Clown because they shaved them off and the small lips they once had are now 3 times as large brought to you by the miracle of lipstick. And it always has to be RED LIPSTICK! Walking around looking like Ruby RagoƱa! Shame on you!! You just wanna enhance your natural beauty. Stop trying to hide your laugh lines. So ya got crows feet now Big whoop. And what's up with women close to 70 years old with no damn gray hair? Not one. So maybe you do still have a nice shape on you but what about the poor unsuspecting guy who walks up behind you thinking he's about to say a flirty hello only to find out that when you turn around towards him, you look like methusela all wrinkled up and everything. You're probably old enough to be his grandmother for Christ's sake! Age gracefully ladies, Please.....

6. ADULTS ONLY - You're an adult, not a child. So act your age, not your shoe size. It's okay to have fun and keep a youthful mind. But adult fun and child-like fun are two different things. Going out on the town for dinner and drinks and becoming a bit " tipsy " is one thing. Going out on the town for dinner and drinks, getting butt hole drunk and acting like a damn fool, dancing like Pee Wee Herman up on the tables while flirting with other people's dates and throwing up all over yourself in public is just plain stupid. Just say no......

5. A WALKING MEDICINE CABINET - Your pharmacist has become your newest best friend. Yes, it's no longer fun popping pills because you HAVE TO take them now! Geez!

4. MUSIC IN THE AIR - Elevator music is now appealing to you because you know all the songs! So don't be shy just sing along....

3. MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE WORKPLACE - The majority of your co-workers were born the year you started working there. Oh yea.....and some of them are YOUR SUPERIORS!! DEAL WITH IT!

2. A HISTORY LESSON - When you tell your child that their history book is wrong because you were there, you REALLY ARE old. - * shaking my head *

1. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE - You have more patience, but actually, it's just that you don't care anymore. Gee, isn't that the truth.....

5 Comments:

Blogger Minister Scribe said...

Thou didst forget number 11: Having sex with Scribe on a regular basis to feel young and vibrant...

Is it not worth a try?

7:40 PM, February 21, 2008  
Blogger Berryvox said...

#12: While watching American Idol, you want to send half the contestants off to do their homework.

1:30 AM, February 22, 2008  
Blogger Zeppelinlady said...

minister scribe ~
Is that so? Hmmm....Oh no!! You're not gonna get me in trouble. No way. I can see it now: EFB walking in on us. She'll probably put a curse on me or something. lol

berryvox ~
Good one! Thanks for stopping by! :)

6:12 PM, February 22, 2008  
Blogger Constant said...

:D I hope you are doing well!

9:57 AM, March 08, 2008  
Blogger DaBich said...

I missed this somehow...#10 strikes a chord for sure LOL!

1:59 PM, May 22, 2008  

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