I'M STILL HOPEFUL.....
UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE NO GOOD NEWS TO BRING. TODAY I DECIDED TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING TO GET MY MIND OFF OF THINGS SO, I WENT SHOPPING. DURING MY LITTLE SHOPPING SPREE, I GOT A PHONE CALL AROUND NOON FROM MY FRIEND AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE'D BEEN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE SAID THAT THEY WERE GOING TO TREAT HIM ON AN OUTPATIENT BASIS. HE SAID HE'D EXPLAIN MORE LATER AND ASKED ME IF I COULD PICK HIM UP FROM THE HOSPITAL AND GIVE HIM A RIDE TO HIS HOUSE. OF COURSE I WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO DO THAT FOR HIM.
FIRST THING WHEN I PICKED HIM UP IN FRONT OF THE SECTION CALLED: HEART HOSPITAL, HE GOT IN MY TRUCK AND SAID THAT HE WAS SO HUNGRY. HE HAD A TASTE FOR, ( OF ALL THINGS ) TACO BELL. HE WANTED A NACHOS BEL GRANDE. I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM THAT I COULDN'T DENY HIM HIS CRAVING. ( HOSPITAL FOOD SUCKS ) SO AS WE DROVE TO THE TACO BELL NEAR HIS HOUSE, HE EXPLAINED WHAT EXACTLY WAS GOING ON WITH HIM.
HE'S HAD A BARRAGE OF TESTS INCLUDING YESTERDAYS' HEART CATHETERIZATION. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ALL OF THE TESTS HAVE BEEN NORMAL. THERE IS NO BLOCKAGE IN HIS ARTERIES. BUT THE BAD NEWS IS THAT IT SEEMS HIS HEART IS FAILING. THERE'S NOTHING MORE THEY CAN DO AT THIS POINT BUT HAVE HIM MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A PULMONARY SPECIALIST. ALL THIS TIME HE THOUGHT THAT HIS HEART WAS REGENERATING BUT IT REALLY WASN'T AT ALL. HIS BLOOD PRESSURE HAS BEEN CONSIDERABLY LOW AND NOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING IS THAT HE MAY BE IN NEED OF A HEART TRANSPLANT. EVERYTHING IS UP IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW. NO ONE IS REALLY SURE ABOUT ANYTHING. IT REALLY UPSETS ME THAT THE DOCTORS CAN'T SEEM TO FIND AN ANSWER FOR HIM.
PERHAPS I'M JUST UPSET AND IMPATIENT BUT I JUST THOUGHT THAT WITH ALL OF THIS MODERN TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY'D HAVE A BETTER HANDLE OF THINGS.
SO, THERE WE SAT, HE AND I IN THE TACO BELL PARKING LOT AFTER EATING OUR NACHOS BEL GRANDES. HE LOOKED OVER AT ME AND GAVE ME THE BIGGEST HUG AND WHISPERED INTO MY EAR THAT HE WAS AFRAID. HE BEGAN WEEPING. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME NOT TO CRY BUT I KNEW I HAD TO BE STRONG FOR HIM. I WAS AFRAID FOR HIM AT THAT POINT TOO. I STILL AM. ALL I COULD DO WAS HOLD HIM AND HUG HIM AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND THAT HE'S GONNA BE OKAY. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE I COULD DO FOR HIM. THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING. NOT TO HIM....
WHEN I DROPPED HIM OFF TO HIS HOUSE, AND STARTED BACK TO MY HOUSE, I FELT LIKE A DRONE. I WAS EMOTIONLESS. DENIAL. TRANSPARENT. I WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE OR A GHOST-LIKE CREATURE.
AFTER DRIVING FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES, IT HIT ME LIKE A DOWN POUR OF RAIN. I BURST INTO TEARS. I TOTALLY LOST IT. I WAS HYSTERICAL. I FELT SO HELPLESS, HOPELESS AND OUT OF CONTROL. I WAS FEARFUL AND FILLED WITH A GREAT SADNESS. I COULD BARELY SEE TO DRIVE. IT WAS AWFUL. AND NOW, I'M JUST WEEPY. CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND. I'M REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH THIS. I TOLD HIM TO LET ME KNOW WHEN HIS APPOINTMENT WILL BE WITH THAT SPECIALIST 'CAUSE I'D LIKE TO GO WITH HIM. I'M JUST SO SAD. I JUST WANT HIM TO BE WELL AGAIN.....*SIGH*
FIRST THING WHEN I PICKED HIM UP IN FRONT OF THE SECTION CALLED: HEART HOSPITAL, HE GOT IN MY TRUCK AND SAID THAT HE WAS SO HUNGRY. HE HAD A TASTE FOR, ( OF ALL THINGS ) TACO BELL. HE WANTED A NACHOS BEL GRANDE. I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM THAT I COULDN'T DENY HIM HIS CRAVING. ( HOSPITAL FOOD SUCKS ) SO AS WE DROVE TO THE TACO BELL NEAR HIS HOUSE, HE EXPLAINED WHAT EXACTLY WAS GOING ON WITH HIM.
HE'S HAD A BARRAGE OF TESTS INCLUDING YESTERDAYS' HEART CATHETERIZATION. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ALL OF THE TESTS HAVE BEEN NORMAL. THERE IS NO BLOCKAGE IN HIS ARTERIES. BUT THE BAD NEWS IS THAT IT SEEMS HIS HEART IS FAILING. THERE'S NOTHING MORE THEY CAN DO AT THIS POINT BUT HAVE HIM MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A PULMONARY SPECIALIST. ALL THIS TIME HE THOUGHT THAT HIS HEART WAS REGENERATING BUT IT REALLY WASN'T AT ALL. HIS BLOOD PRESSURE HAS BEEN CONSIDERABLY LOW AND NOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING IS THAT HE MAY BE IN NEED OF A HEART TRANSPLANT. EVERYTHING IS UP IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW. NO ONE IS REALLY SURE ABOUT ANYTHING. IT REALLY UPSETS ME THAT THE DOCTORS CAN'T SEEM TO FIND AN ANSWER FOR HIM.
PERHAPS I'M JUST UPSET AND IMPATIENT BUT I JUST THOUGHT THAT WITH ALL OF THIS MODERN TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY'D HAVE A BETTER HANDLE OF THINGS.
SO, THERE WE SAT, HE AND I IN THE TACO BELL PARKING LOT AFTER EATING OUR NACHOS BEL GRANDES. HE LOOKED OVER AT ME AND GAVE ME THE BIGGEST HUG AND WHISPERED INTO MY EAR THAT HE WAS AFRAID. HE BEGAN WEEPING. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME NOT TO CRY BUT I KNEW I HAD TO BE STRONG FOR HIM. I WAS AFRAID FOR HIM AT THAT POINT TOO. I STILL AM. ALL I COULD DO WAS HOLD HIM AND HUG HIM AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND THAT HE'S GONNA BE OKAY. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE I COULD DO FOR HIM. THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING. NOT TO HIM....
WHEN I DROPPED HIM OFF TO HIS HOUSE, AND STARTED BACK TO MY HOUSE, I FELT LIKE A DRONE. I WAS EMOTIONLESS. DENIAL. TRANSPARENT. I WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE OR A GHOST-LIKE CREATURE.
AFTER DRIVING FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES, IT HIT ME LIKE A DOWN POUR OF RAIN. I BURST INTO TEARS. I TOTALLY LOST IT. I WAS HYSTERICAL. I FELT SO HELPLESS, HOPELESS AND OUT OF CONTROL. I WAS FEARFUL AND FILLED WITH A GREAT SADNESS. I COULD BARELY SEE TO DRIVE. IT WAS AWFUL. AND NOW, I'M JUST WEEPY. CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND. I'M REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH THIS. I TOLD HIM TO LET ME KNOW WHEN HIS APPOINTMENT WILL BE WITH THAT SPECIALIST 'CAUSE I'D LIKE TO GO WITH HIM. I'M JUST SO SAD. I JUST WANT HIM TO BE WELL AGAIN.....*SIGH*
posted by Zeppelinlady at 11:05 PM
6 Comments:
(((((((((Zep))))))))) I am so sorry he isn't getting any good answers. Perhaps the specialist will be able to offer some hope and treatment. Be patient. When is his appointment? Meantime, YOU need to talk to someone supportive. YOU need some emotional support. Reach out, girl, and talk to a friend, a neighbor, a counselor. Remember to take care of YOU so you can be there for HIM, BIG HUGZ!
Well hell Zep, thats awful news :-( if he is in need of a heart transplant, as long as he gets a donor those docs have that procedure down pat now. I hope he gets on a list ASAP if thats what they need to do. Be strong and do a little research and give him positive stats, his odds ARE really good! check this out:
http://eurheartj.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/27/7/770
dabich,
I'm sure you're right. The specialist should be able to shed some light and lead him in the right direction. He's going to make his appt. on Monday and we'll go from there. I have to say that it kinda upset me that he's waited to make this appt. Everyone's different and I can only assume that he's taking it all in at his own pace. Thanks for the suggestions. I appreciate YOUR support. [[[[ hugs ]]]]
bluez,
I've been researching and recieving lots of info from people who've been in this situation with friends and relatives. One interesting thing that's been brought to my attention is that if you need a transplant of any kind, it's always best to move to a largely populated area. Unfortunately, St. Louis, Mo. is close to the bottom of the list for receiving transplants but places like California, and New York are on the top. A few people have told me that in these places, the waiting list for heart transplants is only 6 months to a year. The waiting list in St. Louis is a minimum of 4 - 5 years.
I've learned so much about heart failure in the past couple weeks. I only wish I'd known more and how serious an illness it is back in October when he'd first began having the signs.
I must say that I'm very happy to see that he's taking it rather well so far and is up and about and acting fairly normal.
Thanks so much for the link. I'll definitely pass it along to him. I appreciate your encouragement.
HUGS.....
{{{{Zep}}}}} Hey ya, I know you are in St Louis but if he does need an excellent specialist and doesn't appear to like who he's dealing with there? Have him go to U of M Ann Arbor, Michigan. They just got voted one of the top cardiovascular hospitals in the country. We've also go Henry Ford hospital which is also good.
Just know that if he finds the right doctor they will be able to pin point what exactly the problem is.
Perhaps a pacemaker might help---if it's a pacing issue.
Or if it's a blood flow issue perhaps a vessel replacement.
Heart surgery has come a long way in the last few years.
I had an EKG class where we learned a termendous amount about the heart--it can take a lot of abuse.
So stay strong for your friend.
Oh man! I'm so sorry for your friend. I can't imagine what he or you are going through. It's so wonderful to have a good friend like you for support though, and that's the most important thing in the world. I pray that he finds a specialist that can come up with something. In the meantime, stay positive and don't settle for "we just dont know" as an answer!!!
k~
Thank you so much.
I've passed this information on to him and he is truly grateful. He made an appointment with a specialist here in St. Louis but they are unable to see him until mid August. ( can you believe) - instead of waiting, he's trying to get other referrals but if that doesn't look promising, he may just be making a trip to Michigan.
He already has a pacemaker ( ICD ) in his chest that seemed to be doing the job until recently.
You're right. Heart surgery has come a long way. My mom had open heart surgery back in 1975 when little was known about it. It's amazing what doctors can do now-a-days with the heart.
Once again....thanks.
constant,
Thanks for your prayers. Can never have enough of them.
We're doing our best to stay positive and we're definitely not going to settle for the " we don't know " answers. Never.
Dear friends
I really appreciate all of you. My fellow blogger friends for adding hope and light to what seems so dark to me at the moment. As I read your comments filled with information and support I smile. I need that right now. More smiling.....BIG HUGS to you all.
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